Don't fret or worry.
Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life.
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful not the ugly; things to praise not things to curse. Put into practice what you have learned from me, what you have heard and saw and realised. Do that, and God who makes everything work together, will work you into the most excellent harmonies.
– Philippians 4:6-9 (MSG)
I thought I had to be perfect to be loved. Thought that in order to be good at anything I had to pass an impossible test set by me.
I saw my gift as a writer and became overly self-critical. Afraid that my words will falter. Like smoke, fade to nothing. I want so badly to make a change and to do something great that I forgot why I write in the first place. I find bliss in getting lost in the words and the story I can tell through my life. Seeing beauty and living in awe as it is consistently proven to me that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28)
I write to be made aware of, and make others aware of the most excellent harmonies in life. The silent rhythm of walking according to the purpose that was carefully cultivated for me. The sea that only my feet would transcend the laws of physics. The wilderness where only my flesh will not be torn, where only I can sit and watch the magnificent prowl of a lion. Fearlessly.
A gift not to be taken lightly, the gift of being me. My strive for perfection made me freeze in fear. I was frustrated that I could not get my words right, little did I know, it was my own unreachable standards that was causing strife.
This begs the question: What are you hindering yourself from doing? I stopped writing the way I love and I am so good at because I allowed fear to take it from me. I surrendered my words to fear instead of surrendering my fear to God. I forgot how to be timeless because I allowed myself to become my own critic. As I watch me, I scrutinise me, careful not to make a mistake. Don’t slip up, don’t mess up. I forgot there is beauty in imperfection. Forgot that the place of promise is in the unexpected detours, embedded in the mistakes.
Your beauty, your art, your creativity. Its all there.
I see the wilderness differently to most. Many view it as lonely, a place infested with dismay. However, the wilderness is what you make it. You may not be able to change the overall circumstance but you can change how you view it. I do not and will not see my wilderness as barren. I imagine it as the middle of a rain forest, one where I have the unconditional protection of God so what is there to fear. In my wilderness there is colour, the highest leaves grazing the lowest the clouds, life being lived before my eyes. I imagine my wilderness as a place where I can be a spectator of the aesthetic of the natural.
I know I can find myself in my rain forest because I know that I am a part of it all. I can learn to be still from the trees and learn to be unrelenting from the Jaguar. So, in the midst of the night, in the valley of the shadow of death, I can be reminded of all that I have been shown. I can be still and know that God will never leave me.
The LORD will fight for you, you only need to be still.
I tell you all this because by fixating my mind on the wrong things I hindered my progress. Once I learned to meditate on the beautiful and not the ugly my perspective of the world began to shift. I learned to pray avidly, lifting all my worries and giving all my fear to the One who can handle it better than I.
It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life. I began to pursue what I love with zeal because I know I can. Once I allowed Christ to live in the space where my worry once was, my eyes were opened to the opportunities that surround me.
Each day is a gift because it is not guaranteed. What I choose to do with it is up to me so I let go of fear. I am learning to meditate on things that are true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling and gracious. I will focus on the best and not the worst, the beautiful and not the ugly. I will focus on all the things to praise not the ones to curse. Only then can I sit back and watch my life be transformed as all things work together to form the most excellent harmonies.
Through Jesus, we are promised heaven. We are promised an eternity spent with the one who is love its self. To be face to face with the one who created you and I, the stars and the sea. The Holy Spirit, also known as the advocate comes to live within us providing us with an endless flow of love, peace and power from The Creator.
God is gracious, He has given us a sure way into the kingdom. Jesus died because the punishment for sin is death (We all sin, its a part of human nature). So, God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we can be made right with God through Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21). He was sacrificed, bore the punishment we deserved, but He was raised to life again and is at the right hand of God interceding for us (see Romans 8:34) Now, because of Him, we get to live in joy, peace and love. However, this is a life you have to choose.
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is LORD” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. (Romans 10:9-10)
So, if this is a choice you want to make, here’s a little prayer you can say out loud:
God, I know I have sinned,
But I also know that your love is bigger than it all.
Jesus, in you, I am forgiven
and today I want to receive all that you have for me.
So, Jesus, I confess with my mouth,
that you alone are LORD
No one above or before you.
I believe in my heart,
That you died for my sins
and on the third day,
God raised you from the dead.
For this, Jesus,
I am forever grateful.
If you have made this choice today I can honestly say, it is the best one you have ever made.
Now, where ever you are, drop me an email, I would love to say congratulations! Further, try finding a church or anyone who you can talk to, its always best to walk this journey with other people.